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Monday, 26 October 2009

  • Conflicted, yet held in His peace:)

    Hi All!

    Hope this blog entry finds you doing well:)  I was recently drawn back to my Xanga account by a friend request, and I figured, while I'm here, why not say a little bit about what's going on with me?

    Well, it's been a year and ~3 months since I got back from Minnesota.  I've endured much growth and been connected to people in ways I only dreamed of before, meaning, I'm developing good friendships based on Jesus and finding "running partners" as I'm on the journey..and I'm becoming useful in the Body of Christ, not that I wasn't before:) but I'm just at a new level of maturity than I've ever been and am excited to grow even more in love.

    I'm getting more involved in people's lives at church, which is saying a lot considering I've been trying to fly away to two other states for the past year or so..Texas and Kansas City, MO. It seems like the Lord is tethering me here for now, so, I'm trying to follow His lead and love where I'm at.  I've also become involved in the Indianapolis House of Prayer (IndyHOP) on Friday nights, which again, is saying a lot because by choosing to be "all here" while I'm here is a risk in my mind..He might never want me to go! But that's silly reasoning. He's God, I'm not..if I never leave Indiana for the rest of my life because He wanted me to stay, that's His perrogative..I'm His ambassador..He's the One who gives marching orders, not me:)

    Yet, recently, I was getting more vision for a core, and I'm not sure what that means, but I love the refreshing that the Lord has brought into my soul because of it:)

    Seasons, seasons, seasons...there's so many seasons in life, but God never changes, even if I do (I think in some cases, it's a good thing if I change:) There's a proverb that says something to the effect of, "A man's steps are directed by the Lord; how can a man know his own way?" Though we may not know where we are walking, we know how to get there...I mean in what manner: "..walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6 or 7)

    Can I just take a moment and say how beautiful God is? The fall leaves are ripening and falling to the ground and it's like creation is embraced in a blanket of leaves. And the sky is blue today!! I forgot how much I enjoy clear fall days.

    The title of this entry, "Conflicted, yet held in His peace", describes where I've been for about two years and where I find myself today. But I know that Father God will strengthen me and teach me even more how to wait on His timing (while being "all here"), wait for His leading, and enjoy His Presence where I am. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.."

    May God bless you all and may you go in the peace of the Lord today...

Monday, 01 June 2009

  • Honor and Seasons..apology!

    So, I realized there was something a little off with my last entry...Part of the purpose of the entry was to process what's going on in my life right now, and I don't always know or use the right words when they first come out..I realize there was a lack of sufficient honor toward those who greatly impacted and shaped my life while I was in TX and MN. And I realized that my time in those places could possibly be more accurately described as "seasons," though it is true that there are aspects that could be called training grounds. I'm so sorry if I've slighted any of you. I love you and appreciate you and am deeply grateful to the Lord for such colorful and lively seasons of growth and community.
  • a bird

    A wise man once said, "A man who strays from his home is like a bird who strays from its nest."

    Why would a man stray from home? Perhaps he has been hurt by his relatives? Maybe he feels like he's destined for something greater and thinks he can make his own dreams happen. Maybe he feels hopelessly confused and feels like a change would do him good? Whatever his reason, he has flown away and gets to see how other "birds" live, he gets to taste the berries and seeds of another place and even grow in understanding..but perhaps he still feels like something is missing..perhaps he is afraid of missing his destiny if he went back to the "nest" he was born in. But what if his destiny was right where he began, and the time he spent traveling was really only a time to grow and gain tools to come back "home"?

    I must confess that I have been a restless bird, trying to find where I belong. I have hungered and thirsted for righteousness and taken flight to find food (when I went to Texas -Teen Mania), and while I was out I tried to find every last morsel I could find (Minnesota), but I grew weary and lost sight of why I had flown away. I forgot the hunger that drove me on and I tried to pick myself up to fly to another place yet, but I couldn't..I was so discouraged, I thought I would die. I forgot how to "eat" (be in the Word), how to "sing", how to fly. But the Lord picked up His precious bird and placed her in the nest that she was hatched, yet she looked longingly at the places she had been from her nest in Indiana. But slowly, over the months, she/I began to regain my strength. I began to use the tools that I had gained over the two years I was away. I remembered how to eat, how to sing, and how to fly. Oh, how horrible when one confuses the training ground for the calling. How horrible to clip your wings when you were meant to soar.

    I do believe my time away was ordained by God. I have met and worshiped with and encouraged and been encouraged by beautiful, fiery members of the Church, and I'm honored to have been given that time with them and to be connected in a special way now, even separated by hundreds or thousands of miles. Even so, I see now the longings He put in my heart to draw me back to Indianapolis, something I didn't think He would actually have me do, but here I am, growing in the Lord as I abide in His Word, being strengthened in my inner man by His Holy Spirit, putting into practice what He taught me through Teen Mania and BCOM, realizing the deep love God has for me..that even when I thought I was not salvageable...He saved me. He saved me. He saved me. I'm alive, even in a place that I least expected Him to plant me. My roots are growing deep in His love. My parents have recently been seeing a difference in the way I treat them. The sweetness of Jesus is my lovely perfume. It's like I'm having a salvation experience..again! Don't you love when people can see the fruit of the Lord's labor of love in you? Don't you just love glowing in His peace as hurting people are embraced in the love of Jesus you exude? Kind looks, gracious words, showing or praying mercy for another in the face of their oppression or opposition toward you...all of these come from the work of the Holy Spirit in us.

    So, I don't know if the Lord will ever take me to Germany or give me a husband..it doesn't really matter (though I hope He will:):). The stretch of pavement He sets before me for today is a lovely destination for the moment..the destination being the journey to the true destination (confusing?). Destination: being with Jesus forever with my brothers and sisters. This is glorious to me. This is wonderful to me. And I'm coming to accept that those I find myself around are the ones the Lord wants me to minister to for today. "Like a child is my soul within me...I do not concern myself with matters to great for me." (Psalm 131?)

    I hope I'm making sense to you. Some of you may not understand what I'm saying. That's okay.

    BTW, the beginning quote is actually found in Proverbs. Just so you know:)

    Well, I must get some sleep! Gotta cut this short;) Good night!

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

  • Relentless

    I AM RELENTLESS

    determined, decisive, bold...

    by Joyce Meyer

     

    relentless means showing no abatement of severity, intensity, strength or pace in what we're trying to accomplish. If we want to possess God's promises, we're going to have to do more than just talk about them - we are going to have to be relentless in our pursuit of them. It also takes living an aggressive, on-fire, stirred-up love walk to defeat self, because selfishness is the root of most of our problems. Self is always going to be there, but we can make a choice to rise above it and refuse to live a self-centered lifestyle. It's something we have to be relentless about every single day of our life.

     

    Experience Real Freedom

    Relentlessly pursuing God is not necessarily easy, but it's definitely worth it, especially if we've been in bondage and never experienced real freedom. God is in the business of setting us free, and it's glorious to be free from guilt, condemnation, and always wondering what people are thinking of us - to have courage to be able to step out and do a new thing in our pursuit. We're set free from the concern of failing when we know who we are in Christ. And if we step out and try something and it doesn't work, big deal! Being free gives us liberty to be creative and expressive.

                One of the greatest freedoms God has given me is the freedom to be me. For years I tried to be something I wasn't, feeling like I needed to be like this or like that, all the while knowing I wasn't like everyone else. Yet, I kept trying to be like others. I'm also very excited to be free from me. Being free from me is a daily walk.

     

    Complete God's Call

    Relentlessly pursuing God's promises also means we are going to finish what He's called us to do. Several years ago I read a verse that cause me to weep before the Lord. In John 17:4 Jesus says, I have glorified You down here on the earth by completing the work that You gave Me to do. Ever since reading this verse, it's become very important to me that I not just do what God has called me to do, but that I complete what He's called me to do.

                There are a lot of people who step out on the journey with God, but I don't think there are nearly as many who finish it. The apostle Paul said, ...if only I may finish my course with joy... (Acts 20:24). I'm determined to not only finish, but to enjoy the journey. That's what I want for you, too - to enjoy every single day of your life. Jesus paid a high price for your freedom, so you can have His peace and joy and know who you are in Him.

                But most of it is up to us. It's not all up to God. He has done His part and given us everything we need in Christ. It's up to us to keep learning, growing, and letting the Spirit of God work in us. If we want to pus a smile on God's face, then we need to be determined to grow up spiritually and spend every day of our life pressing in to be more like Christ. It takes having an attitude and a mindset of relentless determination, and saying, "I will never give up!"

     

    Check Your Spirit

    Do you and I have a relentless spirit? In Psalm 51:10, David said,  Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. A right spirit is a persevering and steadfast spirit. If our spirit is discouraged, depressed or downtrodden, then it's not right. If it's filled with fear or anger, it's not right. We have to be determined to keep a right spirit. We're not going to do anything for God if we're not determined. Like exercise, if we aren't determined, we're not going to do it. Or if we don't determine to clean our house, it's not going to be clean.

                I'm the kind of person who won't be distracted from a goal. It doesn't matter how many times I fail either; I don't shut up until God helps me to get victory over it. One of the goals I have is to stop murmuring. You may wonder what I have to murmur about. Not one thing - but I keep doing it and it's mostly about stupid little things, like sitting at a traffic light that's broken or when my computer is running slow. But I'm determined to stop murmuring. And the really great thing is that we don't have to live in condemnation in the meantime. God knows our hearts, and He's not mad at any of us if we haven't arrived yet. But if somewhere along the path we just sit down and quit, I believe He's disappointed that we've stopped trying. He wants us to relentlessly pursue Him.

                I think it's good to put up a few signs around our house that say, "I will never give up. When I get knocked down, I will get up again. I'm not going to give up!"

     

    Live Determined

    Philippians 3 says Paul was determined, or relentless, to have the things that Christ Jesus died for, to know Him and the power of His resurrection. I believe when we are born again, there is a spirit of determination that comes in us. We can call it Holy Spirit "oomph", passion or zeal. It's when a little fire starts in our belly at the time we receive Christ as our Savior.

                We can have very promise in the Word of God, but we are going to have to be relentless to get them. It's a decision each on of us has to make for ourselves. We can't feel sorry for ourselves and be determined at the same time. It won't do us any good to be pitiful. We have to be determined.

                The Bible talks about people who were determined. Daniel was determined not to defile himself or to break his commitment to God, and he kept getting promoted. Solomon was determined to build a temple for the name of the Lord. Job was determined to not turn away from God. Moses and Abraham are examples of people who were determined. Remember Zacchaeus, who was too short to see Jesus through the crowd? Instead of feeling sorry for himself because he wasn't tall enough, he climbed up in a tree. And when he did, Jesus saw him and visited his house.

                Like these men, we need to have a powerhouse determination, and no one can do that for us. When it comes down to it, we have to do the doing. You and I have to find determination inside of us during our midnight hours, when tears are streaming down our face and every feeling we have is trying to get us to give up. It's then when we decide to say: "I will not give up on having an intimate, passionate, deep, personal relationship with God. I will not give up on being all that Christ wants me to be."

     

    Keep Your Eyes on the Reward

    Real Christianity is for those who are prepared to be relentless. We need to start living with an aggressive spirit. Hebrews 11:6 is a wonderful scripture that says without faith it is impossible to please God. Those who come to Him must believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. We could easily say God is a rewarder of the relentless, of those who are determined, persevering, steadfast and faithful.

                There is not reward in giving up. God promises us a reward and we dare not lose sight of it because everyone who works hard wants a paycheck at the end of the week. We need to see the promises of God fulfilled in our lives and see Him doing outrageous things for us. We need to see the favor of God on our lives because these things keep us encouraged. I want all of us to believe for God's reward in our life.

                I can tell you that if we are relentless and refuse to give up and keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when we don't feel like it...even when you and I don't see where we're going...or don't feel like what we're doing makes sense...or when it's taking twenty years longer than we thought it would take... If we just keep going, all of a sudden, we'll run into our reward because payday is coming.

                Be relentless to stay in faith and receive God's promises. I pray that each one of you will remember the spirit God's put within you, to know you belong to Him, and to never give up, but to have a relentless spirit - a new spirit of determination!

     

    Enjoying Everyday Life (Magazine)

    March/April 2009

    Joyce Meyer Ministries

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

  • New Page Design:)

    I decided it was time for a change...so I re-did my Xanga page...I think it's expressive or hideous...in any case, I like it:)  I may change it again...we'll see!

    Let's keep pressing on to know Him!!

    Love you guys, Kristin

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FuerGott_leben

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    • Name: Kristin
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  • Can't think of anything to say except...I exist because I was created...I love because God breathed love into me...I long for everyone to know the One who has meant so much to me and has been increasingly so for my whole life.

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